


Struggle

by ShimmerShy



Category: Magisterium Series - Holly Black & Cassandra Clare
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, F/M, Feels, Magisterium Spoilers, One Shot, Rose - Freeform, Sadness, Shipping, Short, Short One Shot, Short Story, The Bronze Key Spoilers, mentioned death, note
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-02
Updated: 2017-05-02
Packaged: 2019-05-20 00:15:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,014
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14883968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShimmerShy/pseuds/ShimmerShy
Summary: MAGISTERIUM: THE BRONZE KEY SPOILERS! Tamara is alone. With one of her friends dead and the other locked up, she's unsure what to do now. After reflecting on what she and the two Makars had been through, she finds a gift that may give her a little bit more confidence in simply moving forward. (An AaronXTamara Magisterium One-Shot)





	Struggle

Silence. It was Tamara's worst enemy ever since yesterday.

And yet, it was all around her at that moment, the inevitable sound of nothingness. It wrapped around her neck and suffocated her, killing her slowly and painfully.

She had never felt a larger amount of dread in her life. It pulsed through her to the rhythm of her slow-beating heart, each thud burning her more and more from the inside out. She wanted to see a positive side to all of this, like he always had. A light in the dark. A rainbow after a hurricane. A single star twinkling in the night sky. But she couldn't.

Not when he was gone.

Not when both of them were gone.

She lay alone on the plush couch, staring blankly at the ceiling of the common room that connected to four other rooms. She could feel the emptiness hanging in the air; she could feel it in herself. It wasn't something she was used to, the lonely feeling. She had experienced it before, of course, but this had hit her with a powerful blow to the stomach. After spending so much time with her two best friends in the world, she'd forgotten how the pain felt.

 _Is this some kind of cruel joke?_ she had asked herself constantly since their encounter with Alex Strike. But every time, she wouldn't receive an answer. Not a reassuring pat on the shoulder, no one trying to sooth her with an, "It's going to be ok." Nothing.

She couldn't believe she had felt jealous of her sister for having that murderous jerk as a boyfriend. She couldn't believe that murderous jerk had been her sister's boyfriend.

For a moment, she let her mind wander. She couldn't help but wonder about one thing. Why had she chosen to save Call over Aaron? Had it been the wrong choice? Should she have just let him die to save Aaron instead?

Would Aaron still be here with her right now if things had gone differently, comforting her over the death of Call instead?

Tamara drew in a sharp breath, internally chastising herself for even thinking such terrible thoughts. Callum was her friend, too, and meant just as much to her as Aaron did. Had. As Aaron had.

But the back of her mind whispered to her, worked to make her regret her decision. Eventually, she couldn't take it anymore, and took a moment to feel anger towards Call. If he wasn't who he was, the Enemy, this wouldn't be their fate. _One of you will fail. One of you will die. And one of you is already dead._

Well, now she knew. Aaron was the one to die. Tamara had known it would either be him or her after figuring out Call was the one who was already dead. And it was him. Did that mean she would be the one to fail? Fail what?

Tamara lost it. A sob escaped her mouth and tears built up in her eyes. This wasn't Call's fault, nor was it hers or Aaron's. It felt wrong blaming him, now her only friend, especially when he was in a jail cell at this moment, but she couldn't help it. The irony of her life crushed down on her like a huge waterfall-a very unforgiving one, at that. Every time she escaped and took a deep breath, it would come down harder on her in a repetitive pattern.

Tamara didn't know what she was going to do now. She'd only ever saw her future with the two Makars, so she had begun to draw a blank. Was she on her own now? Not if Call got free from that cell, which seemed unlikely. You don't just claim to be the Enemy of Death, go to jail for a week, then continue your normal life. From her understanding, he would either be executed or stay where he was for the rest of his life. This didn't appeal to her, but she had no idea how to help without getting herself in trouble. Or if she even should help.

Right then, Tamara stood up. Her crying fit had ended, leaving behind only a few sniffles. Her legs wobbled with uncertainty, as if she was just learning to walk. Nonetheless, she stumbled over to the door to enter a room, but it was not her own. It was Aaron's.

Going into his room when he was...dead seemed beyond wrong to her, though her hand was already on the knob and turning it. She needed to remember him. She wanted part of him to hold on to.

As with everything about him, his room was bright and cheerful. Or, as cheerful as you could make a room this small. Going through his stuff proved only that he didn't have many things. All Tamara had found so far were books, clothes, and other normal things a person would own. But as she opened a drawer in his dresser, a red object caught her eye. With a double take, she knew what it was.

It was a flower. A rose, to be exact, and the most beautiful one she'd ever seen. Curious, she picked it up and studied it, a note falling to the ground as she did so.

_Tamara,_

_I've noticed how heartbroken you've been since seeing your sister with the other elementals. I think Call and I both have. I know it can be hard losing someone close to you, and I want you to know that I'll always be here to help you, no matter what. Always. I hope things will go back to normal soon, and that you will feel better. I miss your smile-your real one. Can you bring it back? For me?_

_~Aaron_

The note shook in Tamara's grasp. She felt ready to cry again, but she didn't. Instead, she closed her eyes and took a deep, shaky breath.

"Thank you," she whispered, the rose tight in her right hand. A warm memory of Aaron played in her mind. It brought a smile to her lips. _Always._

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, and I hope you enjoyed! I actually wrote this a while back after reading The Bronze Key (I cried at the end), so I've just decided to post it here. I just realized that this is from September 2016, so it's pretty old, but eh. Hopefully, I'll be posting more stories here soon, so watch out for that!
> 
> ~Shimmer Shy


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